I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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