She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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