Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
