his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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