We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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