did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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