So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
