I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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