I like my sex mixed with concussions.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
