giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
