escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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