is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
