i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
