Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
