If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He has the fingertips of a God
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