No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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