So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
