Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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