Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
And then my night got REAL pukey
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
