I just cut my nipple shaving
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
