I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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