I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
All the doctor said was why
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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