some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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