the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
