you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
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Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
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I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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