i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
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