She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
