Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
