How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
