Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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