I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
