is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
