Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
