So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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