Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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