remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize