I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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