Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
