haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
