47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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