dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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