She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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