things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
