I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
