You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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