Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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