i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
