we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
