8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's blow job season.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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