come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
