wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
