when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
