i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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