my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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