$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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