I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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