Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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