No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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