I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
