I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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