Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
