Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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