I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I think i peed on brittanys purse
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize