So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
