Buhtt sex?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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