i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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