i just had sex bonerless
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
