cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
