2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
