I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
