i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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