I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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