dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
