I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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