You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
