mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
