when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
