i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
