Betty ford says i'm here all night
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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